*Only applies to Harry Potter fanatics
All doubts will vanish when you hear the words “Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.”
You will realise you shouldn’t have started listening in public because now you’re grinning like a madwoman before you start repeating well-remembered lines along with the narrator out loud.
You will then move ahead of the narrator and mentally repeat lines that you know are about to be read out.
You could never have imagined enjoying an audio book so much.
You will discover that listening to a book as opposed to reading it frees up your mental space enough to have your brain travel in different directions.
You will wonder whether, if the series was told from Hermione’s point of view, the book would have had multiple references to wanting to strangle Harry and Ron for sheer stupidity.
You will find out you have been pronouncing Knuts wrong. (The K isn’t silent?!)
You decide that you absolutely have to find out who the narrator is because he is so stunningly brilliant and you need to know his name so you can put him on your Favourite People list.
You find out it’s Stephen Fry and emit a squeal of excitement. He’s already on the list.
While listening to the audio, you will discover you now have the problem of having three voices in your head – that of the audio book, that of the movie and that of the original mental voice you usually read the book in.
You will yell out predictions of a character’s future in your head when you first hear about ones that are familiar favourites – “You’re going to marry Harry!”, “You’re going to make me bawl like a baby in the last book!”, “You’re going to grow up to be a badass!”, “You’re going to die.” (The last one will be too often for your liking thanks to Rowling’s mass murderering tendencies).
You will be transported back to the time you were ten years old and were reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone for the first time. And you will shoot a mental note of thanks to J. K. Rowling, Stephen Fry and the person who first thought of audio books.
You will realise that even after all this time (always!), Harry Potter still manages to give you goosebumps along your arm and a thrill down your spine.